Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
