bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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