Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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