Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
