we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize