Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
