she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
