I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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