Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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