Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize