sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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