my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
