I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize