i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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