we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize