Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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