apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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