I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
