I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
