just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
