some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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