no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
