did you get engaged???
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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