why didn't you poke me back
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
