He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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