my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
