Cold hands, warm shart.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have post one night stand depression
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
