I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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