who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
