we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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