This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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