There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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