fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
