I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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