it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
