Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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