Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
