I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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