we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
