whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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