Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I supernannyed him into submission
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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