I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
