Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
