drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
