its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
