it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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