i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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