so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
