Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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