You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
