Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
