That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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