A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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