I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
