he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
