i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
