He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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