she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How does one acquire holy water?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
