just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The power of my boobs compel you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize