And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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