hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize