You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
